Living with Busted Dreams: A Voice from Australia

We don’t have a good answer for Harone when he asks below if there is anything that can be done to help him return to his homeland, America. But we respect his question and his pain. The following letter to the Texas Civil Rights Review is reprinted with permission.–gm

Hi, I am Harone and I was at the US at the age of two until the age of nineteen. My parents took me there when i was a kid and they had applied for asylum. The asylum was denied and we left before being deported in 2005. My dad stayed there a bit longer.

My mom and I left to india in 2005. I went to a village and lived in India and got sick the very first week. I was so frustrated with life and I felt everything was against me. I had no friends and absolutely nothing there. I got angry one day and took my hand and hit it against my bed frame which was wood and I fractured the side of my palm. My experience there was miserable. I didn’t like to stay there one minute. There were many days where I didn’t feel like living.

I somehow managed to land up in Australia on a student visa to pursue Electrical engineering. I ran out of money and eventually had to discontinue engineering. I finally decided engineering was probably not for me since I couldn’t complete it in U.S and Australia too. I didn’t want to go back to India so in 2008, I ended up doing hairdressing since it’s the cheapest course you could do that allows you to live here.

Not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be doing such a course and no disrespect to hairdressers but how can you do something you don’t like just because you are forced to, otherwise you have to return to a village where you would be lonely without friends or anything.

I was doing engineering in Rutgers University in America and finished one year where I had such a good life. I am 24 and a half years old today and I have no degree and at a financial loss and it’s been almost six years away from the U.S and not a single day goes by where I don’t think about what life would have been today if I never left.

I would’ve had a BMW, a good education, a house and every other thing students dream of. We ran out of money about 2008 since it’s expensive to live in Australia. I just want to live in Australia since I have no other option. There is no guarantee of me getting permanent residence.

If things don’t work out for me in Australia i have to go back to India with nothing there for me. Without a degree or qualification in India, people disrespect you and your family. Society will tell my parents what kind of kid did you raise? an uneducated spoiled kid who does nothing in his life. Parents would tell their kids to stay away from me.

India is not my home and I still feel Australia is not my home too even though it’s a good country. If I was forced to live in Australia for the rest of my life, I don’t see a point to living anymore. Even if I had a million dollars in Australia there would be no happiness. It would just be a totally sad life.

I did hairdressing and have applied for my permanent residence here. I have no more money, no degree absolutely nothing. I have kept to myself ever since I left U.S. I don’t really socialize anymore and people always wonder why I am so aloof, but they’ve never been removed from a country. They don’t know what it’s like to lose everything you have.

I don’t know what to do. Well I wanted to know if the DRAM Act is passed will I be eligible to come back to the U.S. We left in 2005 and it was under voluntary departure so i wasn’t exactly deported. I graduated high school there and lived there for 17 years of my life. I want to go back there so bad.

There are many days where it feels like I am living a dream and it’s so hard to face this present reality that I am in. Now i believe that you need to study for two years under the DREAM Act or get a degree. Well how am I supposed to do that if i no longer have money to study? It’s not fair. My parents could’ve easily afforded to pay $30,000 or even $40,000 a year if we go back 6 years ago but now they are struggling to make ends meet.

I am sure there are many other traumatic stories out there. My life will never be the same again because I will always wonder what life would’ve been, had I never left. It’s just not right and not fair. My parents were making more than $500 a day in the US and now they struggle to survive and i struggle to survive and i don’t have the money to study even if the DREAM Act passes.

How can the government remove you from the U.S and then let’s suppose they passed the DREAM Act, how can they put conditions on there that we need to show funds to study. How can families support themselves after leaving a country after 17 years and then expect them to find a job in a third world country and then pay bills for my education in U.S.

As far as my knowledge about the DREAM Act, I may not even be allowed to come back since I left in 2005 and I’m not one of the recent departure cases. What if they say you should’ve been in the U.S until 2008 or something so that means they are allowed to get away with cases such as mine.

Every day I still think about the life I had. I am not really looking for publicity, I just want to know if there is a way in which would be able to come back.

By mopress

Writer, Editor, Educator, Lifelong Student

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